FF7 Obssesions
by Sabam And The Bobo
Summary: The classic "You know you're Obssesed with FF7 when ..." except this time a scientist and his "precious specimen" discover the symptoms that show you are truely obssesed,please R&R(Scientist:SammyChan~Specimen:Lin-Chan)


Lin-Chan: We do not own FF7 in any way, shape or form, so do not sue us or we will be forced to take immediate action and- *monotone voice*  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Interrupting* KILL YOU ALL! Ahem, please enjoy, we didn't make a list, like MOST people do, in this case, Lin-Chan is the obsessed fan and me, Sammy-Chan is the scientist OBSERVING the symptoms that show you are obsessed with FF7, clear? CLEAR!  
  
  
  
Sammy-Chan: Good evening ladies and gentlemen ... I am Professor Sammy-Chan and I am here to present to you some of the symptoms that show you that you have some sort of obsession with FFVII.  So today, I present to you, Species 01527 ... Lin-Chan *Walks up to a glass tank containing Lin-Chan*  
  
Lin-Chan: Lemme OUT!  LEMME OUT!!!  *Clawing at the glass*  
  
Sammy-Chan: Ahem ... you folks know the theory, "When you ring a bell, a dog drools.", well, I have my OWN theory ... *Holds up a Sephiroth picture towards the glass*  
  
Lin-Chan: *Eyes it and mouth begins foaming and she begins to drool, begins talking in monotone voice* I want Sephiroth ... must ... hug him ... and kiss him ... and then ... I must-  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Interrupts* On to the next symptom ...  
  
Lin-Chan: *Kissing the glass*  
  
**Warps to a scene with Lin in a white room with a TV and Playstation**  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Outside the room* Now watch carefully*  
  
**Playstation turns on**  
  
Lin-Chan: Must ... GET IN!  *Bangs head on screen and breaks it* NOOO ... I've destroyed their dimension!!!! NOOOO!!!!  *Starts sobbing*  
  
Sammy-Chan: Yes ... NEXT one ...  
  
**Scene warps to Lin-Chan sitting in the same room with a Red, shiny ball and a plastic kitchen knife with 1 hole**  
  
Lin-Chan: Oooh ... look it's the BUSTER sword!  *Waving it at glass that Sammy-Chan is observing*  
  
Sammy-Chan: Yes ... that's right ...  
  
Lin-Chan: * Inserts ball in hole* SHIVA!!!  Ehehe!  I choose YOU!!!  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Presses button and an image of Shiva flashes across a wall*  
  
Lin-Chan: Aha!  I told my mummy it existed!!!  DIAMOND DUST!!!  Oooh ...  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Smirks evilly* Yes ... this WILL take permanent effect on the subject ...  
  
**Warps to next scene with Lin-Chan back to the glass tank**  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Carefully inserts bowl of green jello*  
  
Lin-Chan: *Notices it and screeches* MAKOOOOOOOOO!!!!  GYAAAA!!!!!!  *Claws at glass trying to escape*  
  
Sammy-Chan: *With microphone* It's not Mako ... EAT it Lin-Chan ...  
  
Lin-Chan:  Ok!  *Grabs jello and eat it but so traumatized thinks it's really Mako, makes Cloud faces going insane, twitching on floor*  
  
Sammy-Chan: Uh-oh ... uhh ... be right back ...  
  
**An hour later, back in the room with Lin-chan still in the glass tank and now Sammy-chan is in there too....with a bullet-proof glass wall between the two**  
  
Lin-chan: HI SAMMY-CHAN! I remember you... your the one that shocked me with that shocky thingy...*blinks*  
  
Sammy-chan: Um....no I uh ... BACK to what I came in the damn room for! Now...Lin-chan I'm going to show you objects and ask you a variety of questions, I want YOU, Lin-chan, to tell me the first thing that comes to mind...Okay?  
  
Lin-Chan: Ok!  
  
Sammy-Chan: *holds up a paper with a blotch of ink on it*  
  
Lin-Chan: Chocobo!  
  
Sammy-Chan: *writes down notes in booklet* ok...*Holds up Pictures of Aeris*  
  
Lin-Chan: *Fires of hell in her eyes, leaps at the glass, hits it, and falls* Owie...  
  
Sammy-Chan: thank god for the glass...Now, what do you think of when I say Meteor?  
  
Lin-Chan: *pause, scrambles up back into chair* Fate.  
  
Sammy-Chan: uh...huh..*writes more in her booklet* Riiiight. How about Weapon?  
  
Lin-Chan: Gentle pets....*Smiles*  
  
**Diamond Weapon in tank next to Lin-Chan's, Begins to claw at the glass exactly like Lin-Chan**  
  
Sammy-Chan: *Looks at scientist, gestures to the Weapon* Shoot it you idiot!!!  
  
** A loud BANG goes off, Diamond Weapon grunts and falls ... and dies**  
  
Lin-Chan: ... Bob ... *Shaky voice and starts to sob*  
  
Sammy-Chan: There, there 01527...01526 has gone to a better place...  
  
Lin-Chan: *sniffles* ...OK!  
  
**Warps to a non-flammable room, Lin-Chan inside it, a few sticks and matches beside her**  
  
Lin-Chan: Oooh...*picks up a stick, lights a match, setting the end of the stick on fire* LOOK! *Pins sticks on pants* I'm RedXIII's offspring!! *Runs around the room, her pants catch fire, freaks out, and runs faster around the room*  
  
Sammy-Chan: STOP DROP AND ROLL LIN-CHAN!!! DO IT YOU MORON!  *Calls for assistants to extinguish the fire* HURRY! She's worth billions of dollars!!  
  
**Assistants put out the fire that had recently advanced to the rest of her clothing**  
  
Lin-Chan: EEP! I'm naaaaked! *Grabs the coat off one of the men* MINE!  
  
**Warps back to main room, with Lin-Chan back in her happy little tank**  
  
Sammy-Chan: And that folks, concludes this week's episode of "FF7 Obsession"  
  
**Lin-Chan busts out of the tank, and runs towards Sammy-Chan**  
  
Sammy-Chan: How'd you get out?!? *Steps back*  
  
Lin-Chan: * in creepy voice* I'll never teeeell...Any of you..*Left eye twitches*  
  
Sammy-Chan: Ok, I can handle this...I'm strong...I'll live...*Looks around in panic, smashes fist repeatedly on red "alert" button* SECURITY!!!! HELP!!!! AHHHHHHH!  
  
The End … Or IS it?  
  
Sammy-Chan: We hope you enjoyed that wonderful "fanfic" as much as we enjoyed writing it …  
  
Lin-Chan: We were INSANELY hyper so do NOT sue us for that …  
  
Sammy-Chan: Please R&R and we SHALL AND WILL start some new fanfics! Please visit our wonderful. Wonderful site at: www.geocities.com/finalfantasydragons/ 


End file.
